Pratima Shah

  A discrepancy in what a person says / claims to believe and how a person behaves / treats others is called hypocrisy. Hypocrisy at the work place can be in various forms and it can detrimental to the overall workplace. There are many people around us who are hypocrites and they are masters in poisoning the workplace and throwing toxicity around. People who are not hypocrites suffer the most in organizations where workplace hypocrisy exists. They go through severe stress and suffer unnecessarily for being straightforward and honest compared to hypocrites. A hypocrite behaves in the following ways: @@Double standards: When there are a different set of rules for different people / groups within an organization; one can smell the hypocrisy in the atmosphere. Double standards breed resentment and dissatisfaction within the employees. Being partial towards someone for an error and punishing somebody else for the same error would lead to disharmony within the organization. @@ Lack of transp

  Our experiences would be a waste if we do not use them. None of us just lands into the world with all the required knowledge. But each one of us goes through the process of 'living' life. These moments are the experiences which you had; yet we never take a lesson from our experiences. Unless and until we don't stop and look back into the experiences of the past we will never learn from those experiences. You are what your experiences have molded you into. If you are bitter / fussy / insecure /, it could be that you have faced such circumstances. But the strength lies in doing the opposite. If you had a toxic boss who ill treated you and showed no human concern towards you; would you also play the same boss or you would be the opposite. While reading this each one of us would respond by affirming that you will not be the same toxic boss. But does this really happen in the world? Only in rare cases; otherwise most of the time the same vicious chain continues. Why? Why? Why?

 Forgiveness is difficult. By forgiving someone who wronged you, you try to inculcate patience and forbearance in your relations with others. The wound that one gets from others are very deep sometimes and we cannot ever think of forgiving that person who gave us those wounds and pain. But contrary to this what majority of us believe, is that forgiving someone is primarily an act which we perform within ourselves. At times, it is safer and healthier for a person to disconnect from the one that hurt you because he / she is not around you to be forgiven directly. But these factors are not the hurdles to forgiveness; the factors are internal. It is you who has to free your self from this anger. We are stuck in anger before we tread on the path to forgiveness. During this phase we plot for revenge, we think of inflicting all the pain and damage which was inflicted upon us. We are in the mode of 'An eye for an eye'. But as observed, revenge is the path of the ignorant. One is in com

Teaching  no longer remains a noble profession despite being noble. The so called academicians are concerned about every other thing excluding teaching. Mostly no one is concerned how the teaching is progressing or have the students understood whatever is being taught. The ones who are concerned are just a handful academicians who put in every effort to impart knowledge to their classes. The students today are mostly people pleasers who hover like bees around the teacher trying to flatter her / him for marks. Many of them are highly irregular and still expect the teacher to give them marks for attendance.  Since I entered the field in 2005 as a teacher, I was full of remorse for the initial years because my students would not hover around me compared to my colleagues. Only the ones who genuinely understood my personality came to me. With time I realized that a popular teacher is not always a good teacher and a good teacher is not always popular. I fall in the category of not being popu

    To achieve psychological richness one needs to tame the mind to remain balanced as per the transitions / time. Psychological richness can be achieved only when one is patient / conquers impatience in the self. One needs to learn to control the feeling of disdain towards known / unknown persons around them. To let go of the disdain directed towards unknown persons is a child's play because one can get rid of it by controlling your thoughts. For example, if I say that I dislike Salman Khan; I will not be disturbed by this nor will I be sentimental for it. BUT the issues start when this disdain is directed towards those persons with whom we have to deal with regularly / live with them under one roof. The relationship holds great importance and one has to stay in control of such emotions as it could lead to chaotic situations. One needs to persevere hard to stay in control of the disdain and let go of stuff that hurt you. Disdain is like a bottled genie; if this genie is out of the

  When a human being feels psychologically safe he / she is able to voice the opinion / is free to learn and contribute and has the courage to question the status quo without feeling embarrassed. Employees who do not feel psychologically safe will never question anything, will never participate / contribute towards decision making at any phase in the organization. With remote teams coming into existence the psychological and physical safety of an employee should be of paramount importance to the leader of the team / the owner of the organization. With the pandemic since March 2020, the physical safety of the employees is taken care of  but what about the psychological safety? Do employees feel welcomed while voicing their opinions? Do employees enjoy working at the place where they are working? Is the job a thrill or a burden for them? Does the employee feel included? Does the employee have a sense of belonging towards the organization? Does the employee feel marginalized / embarrassed

  Body shaming is ubiquitous in our Indian society and all over the world. Any one takes the liberty of criticizing / making fun of somebody else’s appearance / color / clothing / anything related to that personality. It is easy to fight anything but very difficult to fight body shaming. The big proponents of body shaming are the television, the tabloids and the social media that exists now. This mass media culture has a huge role in advocating body shaming. The mass media has established the notion that a conventionally pretty woman is one who is thin and this has led to a majority of the women striving to be that woman. Overweight people are the butt of everyone’s jokes. A teenager is inundated with a tsunami of the so called perfect body images once she logs into any platform on the social media. There are viewers who even comment on these pictures. Some of the posts leave an indelible impression on the minds of teenagers who get carried away without realizing whether it is right or

The quality and efficiency of a decision can never be witnessed when you are the process of making a decision. One understands its impact only after a decision is taken. Not everyone is sane enough to understand the pros and cons of a decision. Many of us live life superficially and are not even aware of what goes within ourselves in the busy life. In such a state of mind it is difficult to understand whether a decision taken is right / wrong. It is only when you delve deep within you realize the consequences of the decision you have taken.  In the process of decision making a person is always surrounded by choices and picking up the right choice that shapes your life is the toughest decision to make. At times even though you have gauged the decision and weighed the good and bad of it you fail to take the right decision. In such cases think of it as an experience which God wanted you to have. Rather than remaining depressed and noisy about the decision taken think how you can make your

   An inadequacy that is very common in Generation X is low self esteem. This is more pronounced in cities where most of the city dwellers are rootless, faceless migrants; who all the time are busy pretending to be richer and better pedigreed than their neighbors. People are so inclined towards money making that they spend half of the life pretending that they hold better jobs, are very educated than they actually are and are far better endowed financially.     People with conscience very quickly get tired of this game and eventually lose belief in their self. These good ones are those with low self esteem because their honesty has thrown them out of the rat race as they were incapable of competing with the deceit of the rat pack. These honest people find it difficult to cope with the hype and hoopla of the strategies required to promote themselves. Be it a teacher, an aspiring writer, a struggling entrepreneur, a budding actor or a corporate executive all have to market themselves as

All of us have this problem in varying intensities: Either you are a person who can let go easily and refuse to stay in there, or you are a person who holds on and feels incapable of letting go. We are accustomed to holding on to situations, relationships, resentment and dreams. Many of us face situations wherein we require to make a decision - of staying where you are or letting go. Should I stay in this relation or get out of it? Should I look for a new job or remain stuck in the current job? Should I move on from someone / something or should I give it another chance? These are the questions that pop in our minds and trouble us until we make a decision. Life gives you signals to take charge of the situation. Say for example - it is expected of you to sacrifice your personal beliefs or become someone you are really not. You are unable to recall the time this made you smile. The situation / person made you feel depressed, broken and frustrated. When your trust is continuously broken;

 Forgiving a person who has hurt you is a very challenging task. One needs to forgive others for personal freedom, for releasing oneself from the burden of the emotions and live a happy life. But these statements are sugar coated. Forgiving someone is a mammoth task like every other challenging task that a person undertakes. There must be one reason why you want to seek freedom from these toxic emotions. One must comprehend what is at stake and why forgiveness is important for you, your peace of mind and for a happy life. Have we ever paid heed to the consequences of not forgiving? Most of the time people feel a resistance that keeps them from being willing to forgive. They have a misperception about the idea of forgiving and because of this they hold themselves back.  What Forgiveness is not - Forgiveness is not reconciliation with the one who hurt you. It is not living in denial of the actions of the person. It is not allowing the person to repeat the same behaviour over and over aga

 There is a huge population which is under the impression that surrendering at the feet of a guruji / a baba / a mataji or attending self - coaching classes would turn them into self - realized humans. An important aspect is to be awake internally and become conscious of every thought and action of yours. The key word is 'internal' because without 'internal will' nothing can make you realize the power within you.  Any success that you achieved in life always began by fighting the internal demons. After conquering these you took up the humongous task of conquering the external demons to achieve success. The internal demons include - fears, lack of confidence / self esteem/ worries / temptations / failures and your past experiences. The list could go on depending on what internal demons one possesses.  Have you ever taken into account the preponderance of '-ins' on the path of self - realization?  Why do we say in - trospect and not outer -rospect, in - tuition

   We all are born different and have a variety of idiosyncrasies. Due to these idiosyncrasies we have different perspectives. The difference in perspectives leads to clashes between people when they are with one another - at home / at the workplace / any situation where there are 2 or more than 2 persons. Things can get horrendously chaotic when there is a clash of perspectives. At the home front there is no peace and harmony between the family members. At the workplace it is highly stressful to work with colleagues / bosses who do not empathise and try to understand your perspective.    Perspective is what one individual feels about something. My perspective is my reality because I have programmed myself to believe a particular thing in a particular way / situation. It is my personal way of thinking which has been ingrained in me due to the kind of life experiences I have had. My values, my state of mind and the assumptions that I have for a certain issue / situation - all thes

   In the professional world one comes across people who are into the habit of projecting themselves as more successful and competent than their peers. This is the driving force behind the public relations business that is omnipresent in every field. The sad truth is that most of us are driven by sadistic instincts wherein we derive sadistic pleasure by belittling others / projecting others as nothing / playing the dirty games of the trade.     Like every other field there is a rat race here too. Everyone wants to show off and make others envious. People talk about luxuries / foreign trips / expensive accessories / jewelry but no one really "TALKS" to one another. Those living in the family are not aware what the members of the family feel / go through. All the years since I began working I never engaged in this race of creating my PR business. Whenever I meet the so called stalwarts of my field and notice their frivolity I make it a point to stand before that person with a s

   After the release of lockdown there are still many who feel low. This low feeling is the side effect of the enforced isolation. Hope this feeling vanishes once everyone starts picking up the threads in the external universe. The greatest fear as of now is about the 'new normal' where in you see people around you with masks over the face, sanitisers and protective gears. All life we were taught to hold our dear ones closer and now everything seems different. The new normal is like setting a new mindscape.     The age group of 20 to 70 ( that comprises the major population) has been stamped with the memories of lockdown. This lockdown - where we lived in isolation, the way we changed and how we see others after it. This reminds me of those soldiers who were a part of war - how they would narrate stories of the war to their near and dear ones. The stories of Partition told by its sufferers. All those who were saved from the war / partition were never the same because something

   Do we ever give a benefit of doubt to our inner circle, i.e. our nearest and dearest ones?  Whenever we converse with our family -  parent / spouse / child / sibling / bestie we often operate through the vision of our preconceived notions and the earlier experiences we have had with them. Everyone feels that we know our near ones very well and this thinking of ours does not allow us to keep our heart and mind open to them during conversations. This ideas that are fixated govern our present interaction and the trajectory of our future relationship with them.    Children and animals are blessed with the power to forget easily. But an adult - a dangerous and horrifying species on the planet has the power and capacity to carry the knowledge of an earlier negative experience in the heart, mind and eyes; thus influencing all interactions by looking for a hidden agenda. Due to this there is barely any harmony left in the interactions with our inner circle. The adage 'Fake it unt

   Why do we try to prove our worth to others? Are we not capable enough to see our worth? Being a highly intelligent lot; we still seek validation from others. We want others to accept us but we ourselves are unable to accept our 'self' as it is. Due to this we keep on trying to prove ourselves to others so that they accept us. But does it really matter? Are they worth it? On reflection the answer will be a negative one. To be acceptable and to hold worth in the eyes of others we spend most of the time of our life. Life would definitely be very different, worth living and beautiful if everyone of us stops draining the self in the pursuit of proving our worth.    One needs to understand that the world doesn't bother about you. It doesn't care what happens to you or what you do. Everyone comes to you for one or the other reason. Some come and fulfill their desires through you and sometimes your desires are fulfilled through the help of others.We all meet one another

We all keep on thinking about the past and planning for the future. But can we see our future ? Why can't we stop looking at our past ? The fact is nothing exists except the present neither the past  nor the future. How many of us live in the present? We all are slaves of our mind that keeps on thinking either about the past or about the future. Happy  and lucky is the person who is is able to live in the present. Such a person is a young mind that is neither childish nor old.    Actually speaking we human beings never pass through youthfulness. It is because we directly move from childhood to old age. This is because of the pressures of education system, the burden of our studies, the expectations of all around us and many other factors that deprive us of our youthfulness. We are fitted in a system that is rigid and competitive. We are not able to break away from the shackles of these demons in the form of our education system and competition. We ran a race and we expect our

   In any relation be it mother - child, brother - sister, husband - wife or among friends one of the other parties always feels a lacking. Whatever one does is never enough. Due to this there are many issues that happen. Sometimes this leads to a rift in the relationship or one of the other person is dejected and feel that there is nothing left in the relationship. Say for example a wife that performs the duties that are required of the family but one mistake  from her side makes the husband feel that that he is not getting enough. Due to this the wife is always under tremendous pressure and they may be lot of fights and arguments between the husband and wife. This applies to any relationship because whenever one of the party feels that what what he or she is doing is ultimate and weighs the behaviour of the other without considering the troubles and pain the other person undergoes in fulfilling the duties; there is a huge toll on that relation.    It is our human tendency to alw

  With whom do we communicate at a deeper level? What kind of people do we like to meet / interact / be friends with? Ever wondered why we find some persons relatable and why do we reject others? The reason is our yearning for sameness. We try to find similarities with which we can relate. Man's hunt for this sameness has led him / her dramatically to some thing or the other. The most transformative among these were the findings and exposing of shared experiences which we literally know as the "Me too" movement.    This is the decade where DAE - 'Does Anybody Else' reached a new level of indulgence by people who were in the pursuit of relatables / sameness. Under DAE, posts like - DAE escape to the washrooms to get rid of people during gatherings? DAE love to watch movies back to back? DAE avoid bathing in the winters? DAE get nervous and anxious during presentations? DAE feel annoyed at unwanted surprise guests? This decade witnesses many DAE and memes that